The songs compiled on this album were mostly written/recorded in the span of just over a years time; February 2002 - March 2003.

Composed from the spring of 2002, to the fall of 2002... mixed/mastered in 2003, digitally remastered & officially released exclusively on 10/31/10 via Haunted House Productions mail order, & limited to 1,000 copies. Re-remastered in 2015 & digitally re-released during the summer of 2018 exclusively via bandcamp.com

During a time period in which I was unsure of what direction my music & my life was going to take, (after the plug was pulled on The Human Monster, & Children Of The Night had flopped) a time when I was filled with an overbearing amount of no self worth, & I continuously held doubt over myself, & I pondered upon the subject of if I were put on this earth for a reason. Do I give up on music all together, or do I dare to move forward in my writing as a solo musician?

After digging deep enough & looking inside myself (which is an approach that I had never dared doing in the past lyrically), & focusing inward on who I was as a human being. At times, I had wondered if I could ever grasp any morals, & whether or not I can be content with myself for my past, it all played the biggest challenge in my life up to this point in the game.

The answer to most of my questioning was lifted from my shoulders when I realized that I was put here for a reason, & that reason was to be doing what I do as a musician & writer, & to take it with stride. I remember clearly, that with a sigh of relief, for the very first time I felt conflicted no more.

Hiding from my past was one of the biggest setbacks during that time period in my life, in that I had never been true or fair to myself in any aspects. But realizing that I was my own worst enemy was the hardest part to grasp. I realized that one becomes stronger when they have battled through challenges in life such as; loss, heartache, fear, anger, resentment, & grief. These were inner afflictions of mine that required solutions...

I speculated that I could not gain without loss. I am living proof that there're people out there who bottle up their feelings for years, just to unleash & act out on an emotional mind, & I found that the balance to this is a wise mind. I had come to the conclusion that time heals all wounds.

Over all, the result is that these songs are by far the deepest & darkest plunge that I've ever dared to dive into lyrically. Challenging myself to write an album that focused on true life horrors, as opposed to writing catchy choruses focusing on my favorite horror/sci-fi/b-movies as a material base turned me into a better musician & song writer... period.

In closing; apathy is self created, depression is a choice... & it can be easily conquered, & that's why these songs have been given the chance to see the light of day. I hope that the lyrics will fill a void for some that might realize that somewhere, at sometime or another, there's someone out there that might have shared the feelings that another individual has struggled with... I hope you can relate to the lyrics in some form or another...

Josh Ghoul - 7/1/18